Falling From Grace
by sandmanstwilight
Summary: Who was to know that the vampire who had no heart, no life to give, aimlessly wandering in existence for over 100 years prior to meeting me would be the one heartbroken by me but I would be the one to never recover. M for future lemons, Please Review!
1. Chapter 1

Years have passed since he walked into my life, like a breath of fresh air on a hot humid day. _The pain in my cheat hurts as I think of him. My wound has never healed. I have become accustomed this pain. It is part of me, an extension of my body parts. The hole in my heart is just as predominant as my lungs. It feels and feeds off my thoughts and just like my head sometimes aches, so does this hole. _I can still feel his eyes over me as he tried to remember my name 5 minutes after we were introduced. I sit now torn between reality and what once was when he stood by me. Looking back I can see where I went wrong, but how I change the past? How can I make him see? His voice alone in my head is a constant reminder of what could have been my life next to the most perfect man. His touch was soft, his kisses like heaven, and after that who can compare anything or anyone else. In the darkness, in my personal hell, I contemplate what should have been, if I would have chosen the right way. Now I sit an empty shell, living but barely breathing, walking but not looking, and most importantly not feeling anything. How can someone who had it all now be destined to walk the earth alone? After I walked on a cloud with him, today I feel I walk on stone. Everything hard; not one thing like his touch.

Tears run on my cheek, just another night. Like every other night I lay in my bed, I soak the pillow silently and my eyes dry only after an entire night of pain and agony and I give in only to pure exhaustion. My mind sometimes wanders in how it felt…

He lived in a small apartment close to his parents' mansion. He never let the money he had change his values in life and was disgusted on how his family flaunted how much to all of society hey had. He chose to live alone and when meet him I thought he was just a man.

I was so wrong…he was never just a "man".

"How could I be so stupid?" I say squeezing my pillow while my hand wonders in my deepest place. I want to cry out his name and scream so he hears me. For a moment I feel his lips on mine and just that instant my eyes open to see my pillow on my face. I wish there was someway to make his face, his existence, leave my mind.

We meet at work on my first day as an administrator in a housing complex. _He was a very good-looking--to say the least, inspector for the Housing Dept that I worked for. He was involved with many women so had heard. Somewhat of a ladies man and recently had broken up with the last one he met me. I was to be the manager of a very big facility and he had to do all the inspections with me by his side. I think I still feel his touch the first time he touched my hand. That memory is burned inside me like a hot iron against my chest. He was so warm and very intuitive to what I needed at that time in my life. _

His name was Edward. I am Bella, and I was complete…so I thought.

_I was a young single mother of a 3 month daughter whose father had abandoned us. He fulfilled my every need as a friend and when things got tough he was there. I can tell you in my life still I have never felt so contempt, he completed and complemented my life. When things between us got more than friendly he was like a drug to me...my own personal brand of heroin. I could not get enough of him. _

I did not know that faithful day I was to meet my true love, my soul mate, my everything.

His room was small and even thought he could afford all the luxuries, he valued only this room with a red blub in the lamp and his remote controlled stereo. He walks out of the bathroom cross between wet and dry and asks me if I'm hungry.

"No, why you gonna eat with me?" We had gone out to eat but he never ate anything…

"No love, just checking on you, I ate at my parents' house earlier. You sleepy…?"

"Yeah, really tired..." Who could be tired, looking at him was multiplying the best male model by 100. He knew I was teasing. He looks in the baby's stroller and strokes her face (seems like he smells her sometimes), tucks her in, and kisses her foot. I know that was the queue that he was ready for bed. He looked at my little girl like a small mini-me and I think he loved her enough for what she needed and always tried to make up for what he knew she did not have.

As he turned the lights off and reached for the remote to turn on the music he liked to sleep to, the butterflies start to flutter in my stomach knowing that soon my rescue will come. Soon he will have all of my body covered in his smell and I can finally exhale. Sometimes the need for each other building all day would make this point very animal like and caresses would come after the waterfall of raw emotion and lust. Sometimes he lay next to me looking in my eyes, saying nothing and telling me everything. Most times he would bring me close to him and just whispers in sweet things in my ear. Laughter and conversation would quietly fill the room till sun up and happiness was abundant.

The first time he said the words that haunt me now, I will never forget. "Bella, I love you…are you sure about this, I mean we could wait, we don't have to do this tonight?" I never understood why he felt the need to make an honest woman of me, now that my child's father had abandoned me. He wanted to marry me, add to my already present family. He said he was afraid to loose control... My reservations were that I did not know any thing of him. He kept his life secret and I did not know anything he did not tell me. He would get angry and say that his family did not have to know about me and my daughter. The agony I saw in his eyes the day I suggested him being ashamed of me told me his reasons did not lay within me. I knew there was more to know but relied to much on his constant affection to push the issue. "Make love to me, please" I whispered as I softly kissed his neck.

Pain crashes down and euphoria between pain and pleasure wash over me. My finger lingers…my eyes close and world crashes again. Pain. Agony. Regret.

There is just such a fine line between sanity and insanity. I live in that gray area sometimes one side more than others…

His name was Edward, he was an inspector and he was a vampire.

I am Bella, nobody, broken, incomplete, and full of remorse that fills my hole daily.


	2. Chapter 2The Beginning of the End

**I guess I should say that the characters names of Edward and Bella are SM's alone and that I am just borrowing them for my car ride through this partial real story. **

**This next chapter is dark with adult themes, including rape, language, and drunken stupidity. Graphic!!**

**Don't forget to review…**

_There is just such a fine line between sanity and insanity. I live in that gray area sometimes one side more than others…_

_His name was Edward, he was an inspector and he was a vampire. _

_I am Bella, nobody, broken, incomplete, and full of remorse that fills my hole daily. _

_The beginning of the end_

My daughter's father came into my life like a tornado. From the start I should have known he was trouble…not by lack of caution because everyone around me said he was bad. My father knew his family in a wild coincidence; I thought he made up things because he did not want his little girl to fall for someone he did not approve of.

I can hear him say things like, "he will ruin you!", and "he is no good!" My father who was till that moment was God to me, became my enemy, my barrier…I turned my back on everyone for him.

Even after he beat me, I moved 60 miles away from everything I was comfortable with, in order to have him all to myself. No more questions, interruptions, suggestions, comments, dilemmas, ect

Then, alone, he would get drunk which would lead to stealing among other things and break anything in his path with his rages. I think he was meant to break me that day. I will never forget the day I thought, and wished to die…

One of his lowest was on one of his drunken stupors where I had refused to give him the keys to the car while he was drunk. I attempted to call my mother and yelled "you deal with him!" That same phone was crushed into my head along with his fists. He must have stopped only because he physically couldn't swing at me anymore. In his last attempt to completely force me to give in, he kicked me as I lay there in the aftermath. Swollen, bloody, and totally disorientated, I can hear my daughter cry in the background. I start to get up as he leaves the room, fearing for our daughter. I was surprised when I see him in the kitchen fondling for a knife. Needless to say I threw him the car keys and closed to the door behind myself. Lying there on the cold tile, I vowed to never show my family how right they actually where about him. I would suffer my demons not anyone else.

I thought by moving to a new place he would also change and have to choose new friends. Not the ones he had known, that did not do him any good.

I thought I could change him. He was my "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute caressing me and in another assaulting me. I hated his breath full of the beer stench against my face and body. Being sexually assaulted was the worst. He would thrust himself on me, dry as a bone. Tears would fall and as much I tried to fight him, I always thought that my little girl was in the next room and if I just let him finish he would pass out quicker. I paid the price when I fought back angrily; I knew that days of hard pain were ahead. Pain that crippled me in my bed when he would turn me over and bend me around. I wished that he would just break me.

The mornings after where agonizing, as I lay with my hands cupped between my legs in pain or just simply laying on my stomach not ready to move for the pain held me in bed. It was like a magnet. Holding me down. He said he didn't remember being rough and just thought I was exaggerating. Sometimes he would smirk and smack my ass just to watch me cringe and cry harder. My blood stained sheets was what sometimes got to me as I thought one day I'm gonna pass out and rescue would be in for a huge surprise to find someone bleeding and broken. Hours would pass but eventually I would change my sheets, put them to wash, and take care of my daughter.

This was my hell and if I had a dollar for each time I cried because of him, I would be a millionaire.

I endured thinking that this was the kinds of things one had to go through in life.

My sacrifice.

Above all my profound sadness was for my daughter as I held her sometimes telling her why I had chosen to have her instead of dong what my dad wanted me to do…I explained that I had dreams in her, and that above anyone she would not have to deal with type of persons and that was a promise I made to her with fear and my eyes fully tearing.

I guess that in between the sexual assaults and whatever you can call it when it wasn't forced; he showed me the side that I feel in love with. The side that rubbed me with lotion after a bath, played barber in my most private places, and took me flying in ecstasy as he made my body shake under him.

Sometimes I thought I was with 2 different men, the angry violent one and he one who made love t me with the force of a daisy on a summer day.

Today, thinking of this brings me to my "safe place"….my closet. Dark, small, one entrance, one exit, and I can lay there and cry without being in the cold tile. My panic attacks come on less frequent due to the little green pill, I call "Jazz".


	3. Chapter 3 Jazz

**I guess I should say that the characters names of Edward and Bella are SM's alone and that I am just borrowing them for my car ride through this partial real story. **

**This next chapter is dark with adult themes, including rape, language, and drunken stupidity. Graphic!!**

**Don't forget to review…Next chapter will be in a much lighter tone as Bellas life goes for a rollercoaster ride.**

_Today, thinking of this brings me to my "safe place"….my closet. dark, small, one entrance, one exit, and I can lay there and cry without being in the cold tile. My panic attacks come on less frequent due to the little green pill, I call "Jazz". _

"Jazz", my doctor told me one day, "Your cure Bella, to not feeling so out of control…just try it… (whispering in my ear) "It will make the panic attacks stop, sweetie, please?"

If he only knew the things, the thoughts I thought of as my panic attacks would come. I can feel them coming now. I can almost sense when I am close to loosing control. It's like my body warns me. At night lying in my bed, what was once our bed, I remember mostly. It's like having a video recorder play endless repeated scenes. It's a confused state of mind as I remember him in the good and in the bad. I can clearly see his warm eyes on me when he would touch me, sometimes caressing my full breast, sucking one…then the other, knowing all to well that's what I liked …then the thoughts are shattered by fear when I would lay in that same bed as he hurt me in everyway he could. Each unjust thrust, slap, and hardness against my skin…I can still feel his hands holding me down, sometimes hitting, sometimes biting, and sometimes just having his way…everyway with me forcefully, greedy, tearing me over and over. I felt everyway a woman should not feel. The burning was the worst, and knowing in the morning the feeling would be worst was horrible. I still can't believe I tried to tell myself he loved me somewhere in the body above me even when he made me cry and beg.

I prayed sometimes that if this was the life I was dealt with then please let me live long enough for my daughter to remember my face. I really thought one day he would kill me. He was too possessive to share me…I was only his. He liked to take me whenever he wanted and just make me feel like a dirty whore.

Reluctantly, I take my prescription to my local pharmacy. Just my luck, a young chick on the other side of the counter who probably thinks I'm a basket case.

"Bella Swan, is that you?" who else would it be, I thought…

"Yes, that's me, is there a problem?" "

"No, just checking, it will be ready in a couple of minutes, your doctor made the request for a STAT fill"

Great. "Ohhh, ok, I'll wait here"

As I held my new friend in my hand, I clung to it like if I suddenly left my fears rest on this one little bottle. I wished upon all the stars that night as I walked out of the pharmacy that this one little green pill can hold back all I had inside just long enough for me to see my little girl for a little while longer.

How many times did he force me to do things I didn't want to do…things so hard to even put into words…my mind races…the voice comes clearer in my ear. Is he here? No it's my reoccurring nightmare of everyday…

"You bitch, you don't even get wet enough for me? Am I not enough for you! That's why have to shred you like I know you like me to do! Stop your crying! You are a whore! Is this what you like…for me to ram my fingers, my hand, my fist into you? You force me to do this all the time, why can't you just comply! Fuck me! Move bitch! You're not worthy of being her mother, I'm gonna find me a good bitch who comes on m dick and be a real woman. I should let my friends fuck you; you are worthless to me anyway! One day I'm going to tie you up and let them all tear your ass up like I do! That's why I love to see you bleed…you're nothing without me…you are nothing…you are nothing!"

How could I be so stupid not to see into his game? I was the prize but I also paid the highest price dearly.

"You are nothing" he whispered…the last words I remember hearing from him as the judge looked at my swollen face, blood shot eyes, and asked me again if I had something to say.

"No"

"Sentenced for 366 days in prison for Grand Theft Auto"

I had one year and one day to think of a way out of this life…

Seeing my self alone, I found a way to pick myself up--cling to my "Jazz" and my little girl, I finally found myself standing on my own two feet. My daughter depended on me. With my eyes half open, wobbly feet and a broken spirit I saw a clear path of my priorities.

JOB

MONEY

LIFE

Which came first, which came last…who knew…I know that judge extended my life by 366 days. I need to remember this judge's name as one day I will make an attempt to explain why I was such a coward.

Maybe I was all he said worthless, not a real woman because my juice had failed to flow, or because I gagged as he forced himself in my mouth to quickly for me to adjust…maybe I was just not good enough all I knew was I had 366 days of freedom, healing…I guess this was my vacation.

He wrote to me a lot.

The fronts of the letters were of someone who was love struck and truly sorry for his actions: "Bella, I need you. Please wait for me. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you… The back of the letters were of the demon who kicked me as I fell and broke two ribs one night of "passion" as he called it.

He demanded to cum that night 3 times before he took me to the hospital.

He would write things suggesting he had people watching me…"I would kill you in an instant if I find out you strayed from me"

I think he was possessed at the time and I think he was bi-polar…or maybe I'm the stupid fool…


	4. Chapter 4 The Date

**Disclaimer: I should say that the characters names of Edward and Bella are SM's alone and that I am just borrowing them for my car ride through this partial real story. **

**As promised this chapter is in a much lighter tone…All aboard! **

**Don't forget to review… **

_I think he was possessed at the time and I think he was bi-polar…or maybe I'm the stupid fool…_

Stupid or not I pulled a nice outfit and stood my ground in front of a committee of people who in 30 minutes I had convinced to give me a great county job as a manager for a big housing property.

The first manager meeting was when I saw him across the room. Who was this guy who stared at me like if I was some thing to eat?

He stared at me for two weeks straight till one day at the weekly meeting the county Director says "Edward, this is Bella, one of the new managers. I am counting on you to work very closely together to whip her property into shape." Turning to me, he stated "Bella, this is my #1 inspector in the unit and I am assigning him to your property to go over each of the 110 units with you. I want you two to strictly go over procedure and do it with a fine tooth comb."

I can still feel his eyes over me as he tried to remember my name 5 minutes after we were introduced

I extended my hand and he froze. I waited. Do I smell? Is my shirt open? What the hell is he staring at? Did he forget…my name? "Hi, Edward….my name is Bella Swan"

He finally came out his trance-like state and shook my hand. "I'm sorry, yes…my name is Edward Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you."

What a voice. What eyes, they looked like honey, like I could see to his soul…Listening to him was like listening to the best symphony, like angels whispering…he was breathtakingly beautiful.

That assignment lead Edward and I to spend 10-15 hours a day going through first procedure, then protocol, and then the actual inspection of the property. As time went by he started to joke with me and get comfortable. He became a confidant, a shoulder to lean on. I found myself sleeping on day in his car as he attempted to eat. I explained I had had a rough night with the baby. I could not explain the real reason I cold not sleep.

I could not tell him of my demons that waited for me at home, waiting to attack me when I get to the closing of the door. Who would ever understand that I lived in hell, and even though the cause was gone for a while, my apartment held the memories and my mind was vivid.

Lunch time was in usually in his car, and we naturally just talked about everything. He had a girlfriend…and well I had my monster, currently looked away. He sympathized and so did I. Secretly I wished he was alone and his look to me sometimes said the same. I was physically attracted to him. He was very good looking to say the least. He was tall and muscular, but not in a dramatic way. I compared him to a chiseled statue, perfect in everyway.

I could tell he longed to say more, he looked at me too long sometimes with a strange faces, as if his eyes could do the talking he would be saying more. I sometimes wondered what he would say and some nights the memory of him would stay with me enough for me to hear his voice in my ear. I would wake up those mornings with a new found assurance of the future. As quickly as my thoughts crept up on me, they would vanish as I would remember…

Going to work with him was a way out of the apartment that was my hell and as time went by his relationship fell and I was there, as a friend. Things between him and I turned slowly by being playful at work by joking around and by his sudden change in mood; I would move just too close to him. I could feel him stiffening and taking deep breaths. He said one day that I smelled good…I blushed. Our talks got personal and heavy as he eagerly questioned me about my daughters' father. When I cried, he wiped my tears and when I needed to talk to someone, he magically would call my cell phone. He always had great timing, I found myself wishing that my days at work would become endless…I was scared but I longed for him to touch me. Would I even be ready for that type of closeness…the physical feeling burned inside of me and I wanted him. He clouded up my mind and for the first time in a while I was not repulsed by the thought of having a man over my body.

One day…it took one day and he changed my life.

He looked at me with glowing green eyes "Will you go out with me tonight…on a date…with me?

Did I hear him? "Edward...what did you say…date? Hinting the words I really wanted to hear over and over again.

"I'm sorry…I did not mean to be so forward…I just thought well maybe…" Shit she doesn't like me after all…

"No...no…I didn't say no…" Remember to breathe, "Yes, of course I'll go…I mean… we are two friends who are going to have a nice time together…" Oh God, please let me live for just one minute and let him not look away form me…

"Bella…are you ok?" Shit if she looks at me like this tonight I am going to have to tell her…

"Yes, I'm ok"

"So, do you want to meet me here, at work, or can I pick you up at your house?"

"Actually…it would be great if you can meet me here as I have to take the kids to grand moms, so mommy can have a "Big-girl-date" Shit, did I say date?

"Ok, lets say 7:30 pm"

"Oh...oh…ok" a new panic emerged: 7:30, that gives me way to little time to prepare .

Thinking abut that day now I say I probably thought too much into it as well… we were done early and he invited me to go eat with him… it seems harmless. I accepted knowing that my daughter was safely in my mothers' arms. The fear of the already promised warning in my mind was all that held me which is why I think he felt I was uncomfortable so I remember him making it clearer for me…which then broke me once again:

"Hey, Bella, don't get the wrong idea here, this is not a date…just a meeting after work, where we eat and talk…"

Then…he winked… hope!

"Ok Edward, whatever you say. So where you taking me on our non-date?"

"How about a Chinese restaurant?"

"Ok…" I think it's safe to say that at that moment where ever he took me was good so long I was out of that bullet he called a car…he was lucky not to be stopped by any cops as his license plate, was yellow, thus showing cops he was part of the county.

This date was when I noticed he open doors for me and held his hand out so I could get out of the car…I wasn't used to this idea of being treated nicely…he always did this but today he actually held my hand afterwards, like he was not only guiding me but really holding my hand. As we reached the front attendant he said with a voice I had not heard before...

"Reservations for Cullen"

"Oh, yes, Mr. Cullen, please step this way…" The guy nearly fell out of step guiding us to the VIP area of the restaurant. I could feel all eyes on us, as these tables were the most expensive. How did he do that? I had to ask…

After being seated and he ordered us some wine I decided to ask speak up and I asked: "Edward, what is this? What's with the fancy table?"

He just looked at me with adoring eyes for the first time showing emotion, he was still holding my hand when he said…

"Nothing but the best for you, Bella, you deserve this and much more. It's too bad I could not show you earlier" Sadness in his eyes, he got closer to me…"I did not think it was fair, as I was in a relationship and well you…you seem to be mesmerized by me but distracted by him. I want to tell you something and I want you to hear me, no Bella, I demand that you really listen" he was now whispering in my ear "I intend to change that little problem, Bella…I will try because you are my life now"

I gasped at his words, not because I secretly thought that I was dreaming but because I knew of the consequences if _he_ would find out somehow. My new look of shock and torment must have been apparent as he quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry, Bella…I didn't mean to drop that on you. I just thought well you felt the same…"

"But I do" I whispered…tears filling my eyes…"but there's something you must know…" I start to cry…"how do I explain…Edw…"

At that same moment he lifted my chin and I was gently scooped up in his arms and he looked in my eyes and said the sweetest words…"So the lion fell in love with the lamb…?"

I was speechless…he gently kissed my lips.

I was scared.

He just grazed my lips, they almost didn't even touch…I was frozen; he confused my fear for shock.

"please don't cry…whatever it is we can do it together…all three of us"

Three? Three? "All three of us…Edward?" My eyebrows frowning…my heart almost down to my feet…

"Well yeah…you, me, and the baby" One tear ran down my face…he gently smoothed it by stoking my face.

I knew I had to tell him…but how…how do I explain my other side. The side he never knew existed. How would he react to know that I was broken, that my heart was broken in so many different ways unimaginable to man? How was I going to explain my scars in my body, or the nightmares I still had. Could I even kiss him? Did I kiss him? Would he walk away?

I had to get rid of these feelings as I was still in his embrace and I did not want him to see my inner battle with myself…"I don't know what to say…"

"Don't say anything love…just know that I am hear, and we will talk when you are ready."

That entire night, while we ate, he didn't let go of my hand. He held it and made circles with his thumb and I felt amazing. How long before this lasts, who knew?


	5. Chapter 5 Firsts

**Disclaimer: I should say that the characters names of Edward and Bella are SM's alone and that I am just borrowing them for my car ride through this partial real story. **

**Don't forget to review… **

_That entire night, while we ate, he didn't let go of my hand. He held it and made circles with his thumb and I felt amazing. How long before this lasts, who knew?_

Dinner was intimate and romantic. Walking outside with the sky above us and I in his arms safely, I still felt scared in Edwards arms...I could not block out the times I had felt these same feelings before…I vividly remembered as Edward held me close..._he_ also held me like that and some time later that same man broke my ribs and enjoyed seeing me bleed.

Confusion set in and panic: "Please, Edward…I…time to sort through so I can ex…" sobbing again. The more I cried the tighter he held me. He did not know what he was building up inside me. He did not know of the demons I endured and waited for me at home in the dark when I had time…too much time to think…

_Flashback:_

"He" made me feel alive. I gazed in his eyes and no longer saw the sun. He was all of my life and it consumed my heart, brain, soul, and body almost immediately when we meet. From the beginning I found myself fighting. I would fight for him tooth and nail. I fought for him, for us.

My heart sinks to know I turned my back on the ones who really loved me. My dad being one of them…I choose him over the one who gave me life who gave me everything in my life till he graced me with his presence. I betrayed everyone for him.

"He" gave me everything…nothing and took everything…leaving emptiness and coldness beyond comprehension. I thought my touch was going to be good enough one day to make things better. I did not want to know what living without him would be like.

His touch…his touch I remember…he made me feel like a goddess. When he was "him" he made love to me endlessly without touching me. I can still close my eyes and feel him. He had a way of looking in my eyes and commanding my attention, begging for me to be there. I was told once that we moved in synchronization. He moved, I adjusted…the answer was clear, he was all I wanted so the day we decided to take the next step was like breathing time that stood still. Nothing belonged, nothing mattered, nothing existed, nothing but our bodies together fused like a jigsaw puzzle meant to never be broken.

That day in the dark, I was not a virgin, I was not new to the woos of a man. The way he approached me and looked into my eyes was like he wanted to climb in eyes and touch my soul. He caught me surprised at how he put me in a trance like state. Looking back I think everything was in slow motion.

He led me into this new room, a hotel room, I knew what was happening, and I eagerly wanted to see what he would feel like under my finger tips. It was all unspoken. He kissed me; our tongues danced a light long song. His breath was heavy on lips and he truly felt like silk in my arms. He undressed my body and touched me in all the right places…

He licked my neck, and kissed my arms. He held my breasts in his arms and twirled my nipples. He would touch me and make me feel like he grew 10 more arms and all of them touched me at the same time. He lingered at my wet center to the point of confusion. I did not know if the world was ending or if I was going to wake up and be dreaming of him. I moaned at his touch and his breath is what I remember in my ear.

I reached for him…my sun, my star, my new reason for being, existing, I wanted to give him everything and I did. He felt like Egyptian cotton my hands on his chest and I begged him with no words to make love to me and he did endlessly. I felt like we must have been in hat room for days.

He made love to me day and night, I felt like I could not give him more sometimes and when my body would not give he found other ways to tempt my thoughts of total high. He pressed his lips on my center and licked all of me. Gave me every reason to feel like I was already at my maximum and then he would top himself again and again.

He made love to me again, I reached for him again…We could not get enough. The physical need was not what kept us in this state it was the magnetism that made me feel like if he let me go I would break. I found myself searching for him at night…just to know he was there.

_End of Flashback_

Parked in front of my house he attempted to sooth me again not knowing that he would open a flood of waves that I tried to run from on a daily basis. I hated the night. So long. Nothing but darkness…and my thoughts.

"Have I upset you tonight? Did I say too much?...Please Bella, say something"

"I'm sorry Edward..." sobbing "I can't explain…it's so hard…please just don't…" whispering

"I'm here…I'm here till you want me to be here" he looked pained too…why… I thought?

"Time, please… just time to adjust"

"Ok, Bella…don't worry…I'm here… won't do anything to upset you again"

He looked at me like he wanted to say so much and I left him breathless, I wanted to tell him that I was broken, and un-repairable. I wanted to say to move on, but really I did want him too. I wanted to feel him close to me but I was just so scared.

"Tomorrow, I will explain" I closed my eyes, trying not to look at him…but then I did look and I heard again magical words…

"Bella, I love you, today, tomorrow, next year, doesn't matter, we will get through this, whatever it is!"

For sometime I just looked at him, stared at him, was I loosing my mind? Did the most unselfish, most gorgeous guy just profess his love to me and I just sat there nearly catatonic and he just understood?

"Tomorrow then" opening the door, my mother comes walks out the front door with my daughter in her hands crying.

"Mom, what's wrong with her!" I heard **two** doors slam…I looked back and Edward was right behind me to assess my daughter.

"Umm…mom…this is Mr. Mason, we work together" My daughter was handed to me, he gently touched her foot and looked at my mother.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Swan, thank you for watching the little one here, we had a nice time and next time she will come with us, maybe you can join us also?"

Is he loosing his mind! "Edward, umm…my mom doesn't, I mean wouldn't…"

"Thank you, Mr. Mason to be honest, I have to thank you…she hasn't been this happy in a long time…to bad the scum bag will…"

"MOM!" I yelled and cut her off.

"Oh, well… guess I'll just go, your dad is waiting for me at home for our late night news banter…" mom rolled her eyes and turned around, out the door, and into the elevator…quite in a rush I may add…

At that moment I noticed that Edward was still holding her foot lightly touching her and looking at her intensely. Then he just leaned in and smelled her…like she was a wild flower. I was tempted to ask if she stunk or needed a diaper change….but I decided not to get into that conversation. I just watched him look at her and well she calmed down almost immediately and fell asleep.

"Wow, she never did that…" I whispered "Would you like to come in"


End file.
